When I went to my dad's hometown in Taishan, China, it was a whole different world. Completely rural, and even the city looked suburban. Thank God that my aunt bought an apartment with a decent bathroom, but oh how I dreaded the public bathrooms.. My first time was at a McDonalds. I went in and the floor was wet.. yuck. The bathrooms are on the floor, like a sink. It's nasty. I squatted and I was wondering if I was doing it right. I turned my body and wondered perhaps I was doing it in the wrong direction. lol. But I was right the first time. But it was messy. I'll say no more..
The people there are starers. I didn't know whether I loved that or loathed it. You see, in a.m.e.r.i.c.a., staring is rude. But these people, on the other side of the world stare like there's no tomorrow; even when they see you staring, they won't stop staring. I would joke when my family and I were walking that people were staring at them instead, but clearly I was the focal point. I don't know what it was about me.. I wore regular clothes, I wasn't wearing makeup, and I think I blended in.. Well, except, of course, my pasty fair skin and that I'm fatter than the average Asian. I remember I was at the school where my cousin taught gym (rest in peace, my cousin, and all those who died in the tragic accident... *kiss, kiss, kiss*.) there was this one girl who stared at me as she got out of class. She just stared at me. I stared back, and I think she glared a little.. stupid bitch* (I meant, little kid).
One thing I realized in China was that when waiters wait on you saying, 'what do you want pretty girl?' that they are lying. They don't think you're pretty. I was at the restaurant and this dude said it to this chick. She was an ugly chick. They lied. Never take them seriously!
There was no good looking guys in China.. it was very disappointing. I think I had a crush on 3 guys in my five week stay there. One was the driver. He was pretty light skinned, and he's a pretty nice person. I guess that's why I crushed on him. But that's it. I heard his dad is arranging a marriage between him and this country girl. I can't imagine being forced to do that. I'm more rebellious when it comes to being forced to love someone. There was this other guy I met through one of my dad's best friends' friend. He was so worldly and he's an expert at something, and he's an entrepreneur!!! He travels a lot, which is pretty awesome. He's an expert at fishing, and I think he won prizes for it. And back then, he bought all these houses and collected on rent, and got his income on that.. That's pretty awesome! He smokes though, and his teeth is rotting. Oh, and he spoke a bit English too!! That's really impressive. So yeah. Moving on the guy that practically stole my heart. It was a beautiful day. I always wanted to catch fish at the pond where my dad owns, at the village where he was raised in. Yeah, my dad and his siblings are a pretty big deal, because they came to the US for a better life, and they would send money home to the village. Yeah. The whole village came to see me fish out the fishes! I thought it was a no biggie thing. I thought I would have fish food to lure them, and I catch them with a net. Oh no. So wrong. They had 8 people, 4 on each side of the pond holding a pond long net and dragged it across the pond to bring all the fishes to one side. Everyone was there. It was sooo weird and awkward. I didn't want to be the center of attention. But I realized that everyone wasn't there to look at me catch fish. They were there to get a fish to bring home to cook. That was when I saw this guy in the red t-shirt. Man was he cute.. I couldn't stop staring.. But he got his fish and left. Later that night, we dined out. We had fish soup and I saw him there. He was sooo cute.. eek! I wanted to take a picture of him, but I didn't. Oh wells. My dad's friend drove us home, and coincidentally, he gave a ride to Red Shirt.. The situation with him is that he is the son of someone my dad knew. His parents live in Boston right now.. which gave me hope that if he came to US, that we would meet again. And when he was answering my dad, he turned to the back of the car and I swear he was looking at me when he was talking. I was staring too. It was dark, but man, our beady eyes were checking the other out. But I realized something about him when I first saw him. He had a great smile, but his teeth was horrendous! Like ew, it was soo black. blah. I mean they look like they could get a good cleaning and wallah, it'll look decent! But no. Sigh. I struggled whether if we had relations, that my parents would approve. The good: He's from my dad's hometown and he's cute. The bad: He sells cellphones and his teeth is blah. Yeah. I don't know if it'll work though. He doesn't speak English. That means that he won't be able to understand my humor or jokes, which is a major biggie. I want to be able to make my hubby laugh, and clearly, I can't do it if he doesn't understand my American humor. He might think I'm a major bitch since I have some sarcastic humor and he's translating it wrong.
I saw him 3 more times. One was an awesome night.
We were having dinner and we had 2 tables. Since I came in the car with my dad, I sat with him. I didn't realize I was at the "guys table", which was what it was. I sat with all guys. My mom told me to sit with her, but my uncle wanted me to sit with him, I guess because he's shy like me, and wanted me around. So I sat there. And then he came. I heard he said his name was Moon. That was cute. So he was sitting across from me. The rice came, and he gave me the cutest eyebrow. Like a 'have some' wink. I didn't know what to do, except giggle like a girl with a crush. He did it a second time.. and I looked away. Then he just started staring.. like intensely. I look up, there he was staring.. I look again, there he was... I started panicking.. I couldn't look at him, or his direction for the rest of the night. I liked the panic. I felt a rush. It was pretty awesome. It was one of the best nights there.
I just remembered one of my dad's best friends who died in a very tragic car crash, that also took the lives of my cousin and my dad's other best friend. It was horrible. We all cried. I couldn't imagine how my dad felt. Will we be going back? Not sure. My dad's friends made the trip the best. They brought us places and they were so funny. I loved them. They made life beautiful and comedic. The world was at a loss when they died. They made me so comfortable, and it takes something special for me to be comfortable around them. Very special. Loved them dearly. Miss them a lot..
Does love die slowly with memory, or do they make us die?
I felt like it killed a part of my heart.
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