Here's One For the Dogs.

"The life that I have
Is all that I have
And the life that I have
Is yours"
-Leo Marks
How I love this stanza from Leo Marks? It wasn't until Chelsea Clinton got married that I found this lovely poem since it was the "official" wedding poem. And how these words ring true. Marriage is about finding the right person, and being able to be vulnerable with him. We only have one life to live, and before we hit the big 3-0, we're most likely giving it to who I'd like to call "my better half". We get one life; we choose one person. And we must choose oh so wisely because weddings are expensive, and presents don't really cover the cost of everything. Materially, the bride and groom lose. Emotionally, they are at the bargain end of the deal if they found their better halves. Sometimes I feel like people do not get the bigger picture, and that's when they marry wrong. Being crazy about that person doesn't make the relationship work because what happens when it all fizzles? Where do you go from there? When a relationship develops, and the guy knows you are his forever, will he feel the need to impress you or be chivalrous? No. And we can't be mad at them for being this way because we are the same way. Once you're his, there's no need for chase. There's no need for impressing. The hunt is over.
I find it really hard to find the right guy. Any guy for that matter. I'm 23 and single. All my life. No action, no nothing. I'm too shy, and let's face it, I can be a bit intimidating because I rarely smile in public. My emo make up doesn't help make things any better. And when I am attracted to a guy I see, I get too nervous to look at him, and so I look through him. I literally look his way, but right passed him. That's a very conceited thing to do, but I can't help it. Guys scare the hell out of me. And my friends don't paint a better picture for me about them either. If anything, they make me wear a pair of non-rose colored glasses. They call them jerks and douches. And it sometimes surprises me to meet a guy and think he's someone decent, then to find out he has multiple girlfriends. I've come to believe that all guys are the same. That they have no feelings. That they don't care about girls. They just want us for our goods and they leave when it runs out. Or if she becomes crazy, of course.
I'm not quite sure what type of girlfriend I'll be. In my head, I seem like a nonchalant type, but I have my obsessive episodes. I remember finding a crush who moved away's address through the phonebook, and one time I obsessively Facebooked stalked this guy for 2 weeks during Freshman year of college. I took his 'you can come and talk to me about anything' phrase on Facebook too seriously, and I talked on his wall. When he didn't respond, I went all apes on him asking why he wasn't responding to me, and asked if he thought I was crazy. I later felt disgusted and embarrassed by my behavior that I stopped talking to him, and deleted him off Facebook. Never doing that again! I hated to think I was "that" crazy stalker girl that people talked about. yikes!
So my approach to relationships is that if it happens, then it happens. If he cheats, then it's better to find out now, before you are tied down. I don't think love should be so hard. It should just fit. If there are doubts, then there will be 'what ifs' haunting the relationship, and instigate when things are at its worst. Love should be bam bam, I'm in love. He looks at me, and I just can't stop looking back at him. I believe in this magic.
On a non-related note. I was walking home today, and I found this hot dog 3 houses away. He seemed lost because the door he was standing in front of was closed. He stared at me, and I stared at him. It was a good 5 seconds. I made some smooching noises, and he ran to me. He jumped on me like there was no tomorrow. At first, I was like eww, but a flashback of a few years ago where I found this dog wandering the streets in the rain, and how bad I felt not stopping to help it. I think I saw signs of a missing dog the next day for him. :( So I stopped. I saw a tag so I knew he wasn't a stray. I could hardly hold him long enough to read the number off his tag, when he ran away. I hesitated whether I should go home, or follow him... And I chose the latter. I followed him as he went into a neighbor's yard. I tried making the noise again to no avail. I bent over and he charged at me. Yes, long enough for me to dial the number! I told her I found her dog, and a guy came out of the house the dog was in. omg. Here I was trying to lure him away from that house, when that's where he lived. -_- Felt like a dork. The dog's name was Tips. But that jerk didn't even say thanks. He just called the dog and that's it. Whatever, man. I liked his dog, though. So energetic. I have lots of paw prints on my black pants. I didn't even care that he was all over me. And I have OCD! lol. I want a dog of my own. In the words of Britney Spears: my loneliness is killing me.