A Thousand Times

A thousand times, I am as sure as can be
It is your life that I would risked mine saving
When skies are dreary and life overtakes me
You assure me that mine is still worth braving 
But who's he in my peripheral vision
Causing a stir in this perfect frame of trust
With a ready heart on a ninja's mission
Trying to crush our simple love to dust
Still I look at you with a soft, yearning heart
As I think of one of your crooked smiles
So many things that I love... where should I start
That list would go on for a thousand miles
There will be times where my heart is set to roam
Straying towards somebody temptingly new
But I know you're that warmth I want in my home
Trailing a mere thousand pebbles back to you
Like a pinky promise kept in my locket
I'll treat your heart right however I know best
Safely hold mine inside of your shirt pocket
Keeping my love the closest thing to your chest
When weakness happens to leave my heart unsure
Tell me of a thousand reasons why I can't
If in life, I can keep you and nothing more
That is more than a thousand wishes can grant
A thousand ways you have opened up my heart
A thousand times I am as sure as can be
No matter how long it takes for us to start
That in the end there is only you and me


[A lot of editing and re-editing on the bus on my way to and from work to make this right. This poem came to me when I was listening to Canon in D by Pachelbel. This was the song that made me think of Mr. Google when I started liking him. Then all of a sudden, I see Ninja Dragon in the corner of my eye. How did he come into a song that was made for two? But as you can see, in the end, there's going to be no third party..]

Naked

I had a dream a couple of nights ago where I was at work and I was naked from the waist down. I wasn't even wearing underwear! I was just trying to find something to cover myself up. When my coworker passed by, I asked him to help me look for something to cover up. I wasn't embarrassed. I just wanted some undies! I woke up wondering why I dreamt that..

So I did some research. Psychological Meaning: It is a metaphor that exposes the dreamers perceived faults or feelings of vulnerability to some situation in their life. The fact that other people are oblivious to the dreamer's nudity indicates that they should discard as groundless any fears that they will be rejected if their real self is revealed. If you dream of being ashamed or frightened of being naked this may indicate a fear of relationships or of showing your real feelings.

Hmm, one of the reasons why I don't strive too hard is because of my fear of never being good enough. This is also the same reason why I don't put myself out there when it comes to love. I'm afraid that my real self will be rejected. But maybe they're right. Maybe my fears are groundless. Maybe I'm overthinking the situation. I'm just afraid of opening up my heart if that means having it break into a million pieces.

I guess I'm afraid of meeting Mr. Google in October. That's when I'm going to build up enough courage to meet him. But what if he doesn't like me? What if I don't meet up to his expectations? What if he thinks I'm stupid? What if we have nothing to talk about? What if these past 7 months of talking, that there was nothing really there? I guess the sooner we meet, the faster we know right? Am I that subconsciously afraid to meet him. What if he doesn't like me? What if I don't like him?