I met my first guy on Skout. The only reason I chose to meet up with him only days of meeting him is because he had a girlfriend and I thought we could be friends. He just moved from Virginia to do residency here in New York and I thought we could both use more friends. So I met him.
We went to Koreatown for lunch. It was awkward. Half the time we weren't talking and I was just looking around awkwardly. During lunch, he was planning what we were doing next. I guess that's a good sign that he liked me. He suggested we go get a beer. Because there was nothing else to do and I know I'd be more relaxed when I drink, I went along with it. We went for a beer and then we went back to K-town to get Soju. We went to this place and then we went to another. Throughout the afternoon, I had a tall glass of beer and shared two bottles of Soju. I was pretty tipsy at that moment. After that, when we were walking to the train station, he held my hand. I was like whatever. He suggested that we go back to Brooklyn to the park by his house. I didn't want to go but he convinced me that it wasn't far and that it was still early. I went with it. #yolo, right?
When we got off the train, he said we should go back to his apartment for some "coffee". Yeah, ok man. I'm drunk, but I'm not stupid. I told him I didn't drink coffee and that I wouldn't go inside. No dude, not even for a minute. So he went in and I sat outside and waited for him. He went in and came out after a long 5 minutes. Then we walked to the park. We sat in the middle of the grass which was really nice. We sat together and then he put his arm around my waist.
O: Can I kiss you?
L: You know you have a girlfriend, right?
O: *takes arm off me* I know..
L: Yeah, it's not a good idea.
O: But we're in the process of breaking up.
L: Yeah, but this is still cheating.
O: *puts arm on me again* I know.. Can I kiss you?
L: I just haven't kissed in a really long time. If we kissed, it would mean nothing to me.
O: What do you mean?
L: I don't know how I feel about you, so this means nothing to me.
He pulls me closer and I turned to him. Then we kissed. He wasn't the best kisser. I did most of the work. So we kissed for about 5 minutes. Then we headed out. I told him I should be going home because it was Sunday and I had work the next day. He walked me to the train station. When we were waiting to cross the street, he stood close to me and I kissed him again.
When we were outside the train station, he tried dragging me back to his place again. I told him that I was a virgin and that I'm not that kind of girl. I told him that I had a really nice time after he said it was well. I don't know how much truth that statement contained because I felt pretty crappy about what I did. I told him he was pretty slutty because he tried several times to get me to go in his house. Yeah, "coffee", ok man. If I'm not safe with a guy with a girlfriend, I'm not safe with anyone. Are all guys douchebags? Maybe I should forever stay in a long distance relationship and be completely oblivious to what he is doing so that I could live inside a fairy tale bubble.
I checked my phone and I got texts from Annette and Jenny. They were worried sick about me because they thought something bad happened to me. It was really my fault. I didn't check my phone the whole time I was with him. I know better now.
I was pretty disappointed in myself. Of what I did with someone else's boyfriend, regardless of whether they were about to break up or not. Never in a million years I would have thought I'd do that. Yes, the alcohol made me have loose inhibitions. But it was my choice. My regret.
That night, I talked to Andrew about it. That was a good talk for the both of us. He liked talking to drunk me because I'm more flirty with him. haha. He's so silly. I love talking to him even when half the time, we only hear the other breathing. haha. He told me that in a few months, we would be married and then divorced. He said not to worry because we're going to get back together again. haha. I don't know what I'm doing with him, but right now, I'm pretty happy. I can go out and have fun with guys if I wanted, and then come home and be able to have that mental connection of a fake boyfriend like him. It's kind of like having multiple lovers. haha. It's terrible, I know. But our relationship is just a game. I've never liked talking on the phone, but talking to him just feels so right.
Annette said what I'm doing with him is wrong because I'm going to get attached and disregard the guys around me. She threatened to text him saying that I hate him and to never talk to me again. I told her if she did that, I would be really upset at her. I like the fact that he thinks about me before he sleeps and when he wakes up. I like that. Even if it's fake, he still thinks about me from 740 miles away.
I'm getting attached, yes. I wonder what will happen once one of us finds someone else. Obviously, we have to stop. But how would I feel about it? I don't know if I want to let him go? I guess we could still be close pen pals. We just have to replace 'baby' and 'honey' with 'dude' and 'yo'.
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Thursday, July 4, 2013
He's Not Quite It, But I'm Okay With It
I joined a new dating site called Skout about two weeks ago. I sort of missed perverts hitting me up and calling me 'mami'. So I joined. Lone and behold, the first day, someone said 'how you doing, mami?' This is more of an app based site than anything. It's simple to use.
The first guy I met was Ken. He seemed pretty cute so I started talking to him. I'm on the fence about him because he didn't finish college. Heck, he didn't graduate from high school either. I'm not sure what his reason was. He just said that school just wasn't for him. My other quibble with him is that even though he came from Hong Kong when he was 9 and speaks English pretty well, he doesn't get the American lingo. That's a pretty big problem since my best trait is my sense of humor. Oh man.. the funniest convo happened though. We were texting about how guys can be horny and stuff. Annette saw the word 'horny' on my phone.
A: Look, he doesn't even know how to spell horny. It's H-O-R-N-E-Y.
L: No! It's spelt H-O-R-N-Y. What the frack? Horney? It's not French.
A: Oh my God. French. hahah. 'Hi, my name is Annette Horney.
L: Lol. Oh my God. Miso Horney!
A: hahahah. I'm going to text Ken that your real name is Miso Horney.
L: No, don't you dare! He's a fob, he won't get it!
*texts* My real name ... Miso horney.
L: Don't you do it! Don't you press that button!
*clicks send*
L: Oh my gahhhhhhh. Nooooooo.
Text:
K: You So horny?? Lol.
L: In France. Nooooo. That's what they call me in Europe.
K: I see. Haha... my bad.
L: Bc I'm Asian. Like miso soup.
And he fell for it! Whaaaatttt. I don't know how I feel about that. haha.
I started talking to another guy, Andrew, as well who said I had a really cute pic. The only reason I messaged him was because he was 720 miles away in Illinois. We talked for a couple of days before I gave him my number. Our relationship blossomed based on a lie. On June 25, my shady bus driver asked me out. He was this mid-forties, balding big white guy. After a couple of minutes of awkward talking, he asked me if I had a boyfriend. I let out the longest 'yessssssss' of my life. Then I told Andrew about it. I said 'now I can't say I've never been asked out.' So he said 'do you wanna go out with me?? make that 2x.' I told him that he should be my fake boyfriend to fend off creepers. And he said it was a deal. I asked him where my flowers were and he sent me a picture of some dead flowers. That's how the relationship started. I had told him before I gave him my number that I didn't like talking on the phone because I'm really quiet and he agreed not to. He called me last friday night at 1:15 in the morning. At the time, I thought it was my alarm ringing. When I saw it was him, I was a really shocked, but I picked up.. It was a sleep yolo moment. And we talked for 1 hour 52 minutes.. It was awesome! I've never been so comfortable talking to someone before. Half the time we didn't even talk. I just hear him breathing. haha. He had a nice calming voice. He called me baby and I called him honey. We decided to be fake boyfriend and girlfriend. It's getting harder and harder because I seem to like him more and more. When I told him that it was weird that we were calling each other 'baby' and 'honey', he didn't see the weirdness. He said that we're friends and that we're playing around; and that if we don't like it anymore, we can just stop talking to each other. That hit me quite hard. I know it's a game and I know I shouldn't be falling for him. Annette said I'm going to get screwed if I fell for him. It's just a game. I told her that I like the fact that someone thinks about me right before they sleep and when they wake up. I like the fact that I matter to someone.
Even though it's a game, talking to Andrew is helping be become better at talking to guys and talking sweet talk to them. He's teaching me and I'm learning. He's great because he supports me in finding someone special, as I wish it for him too. We're both great people. I think we should find someone awesome someday. Hopefully soon.
I went out for Annette birthday to a biergarten in Williamsburg. She said there is a good mix of race and that there are a lot of Asian guys in Williamsburg. She pointed out a group of them, whom looked like players so I wasn't interested.She said there was one behind me and to turn around. I looked back and I saw this really cute Chinese guy. When he looked at me, I turned upward like I was looking at the ceiling. haha. That's my problem with eye contact. I could feel like he was looking at me. Even Annette was telling me so, but I couldn't make eye contact. I was too shy. I wished I did. He was really cute and I regret it so much that just last night, I dreamt I was doing all this research to try to find out who he was. I mean, if it was meant to be, he would have made the move. If it was meant to be, I would see him again. I did see him again at the pizza place we went after the second bar, but he didn't see me. And I was too drunk to act on my desire to go up to him and say 'Hey, wanna hear a pick up line? I wished I lived in your socks so that I can be with you every step of the way.' hahhahah. Sigh. I missed my chance, but fate is FATE! There was this other guy who apparently was hitting on me. When he walked into the bar, we all looked at him and made an ewww face. He looked like the guy on a pizza box. Apparently he was talking to me from behind. Annette told me to turn around. I was already a little drunk so I turned around, looked straight through him and turned right back to Annette. I felt like a hot bitch and I liked it. I didn't mean to be rude, but I can't say it didn't make me feel like the shiz. I'm sorry!
Today is Independence Day. Happy Fourth of July! I was supposed to go out with Jenny to a BBQ, but I backed out. I didn't know that Jeff didn't know she was bringing me. I don't have anything to bring to the party. There's going to be a lot of people there. When I told her I didn't want to go, she went bonkers at me saying that I didn't care to see her and all this shit. Guilt. I'm too tired to be guilted like this. And she had the audacity to say that I've been sassier since I started talking to Andrew.. what the fuck? I started talking to him two weeks ago. I didn't change because of him. He has nothing to do with my choice of not going and it pissed me the fuck off that it was even brought up to be thrown in my face. All those memories of awkward hang outs made me say no. Fucking. Andrew?? Really? For serial?
Zen.
Zen.
Zen.
The first guy I met was Ken. He seemed pretty cute so I started talking to him. I'm on the fence about him because he didn't finish college. Heck, he didn't graduate from high school either. I'm not sure what his reason was. He just said that school just wasn't for him. My other quibble with him is that even though he came from Hong Kong when he was 9 and speaks English pretty well, he doesn't get the American lingo. That's a pretty big problem since my best trait is my sense of humor. Oh man.. the funniest convo happened though. We were texting about how guys can be horny and stuff. Annette saw the word 'horny' on my phone.
A: Look, he doesn't even know how to spell horny. It's H-O-R-N-E-Y.
L: No! It's spelt H-O-R-N-Y. What the frack? Horney? It's not French.
A: Oh my God. French. hahah. 'Hi, my name is Annette Horney.
L: Lol. Oh my God. Miso Horney!
A: hahahah. I'm going to text Ken that your real name is Miso Horney.
L: No, don't you dare! He's a fob, he won't get it!
*texts* My real name ... Miso horney.
L: Don't you do it! Don't you press that button!
*clicks send*
L: Oh my gahhhhhhh. Nooooooo.
Text:
K: You So horny?? Lol.
L: In France. Nooooo. That's what they call me in Europe.
K: I see. Haha... my bad.
L: Bc I'm Asian. Like miso soup.
And he fell for it! Whaaaatttt. I don't know how I feel about that. haha.
I started talking to another guy, Andrew, as well who said I had a really cute pic. The only reason I messaged him was because he was 720 miles away in Illinois. We talked for a couple of days before I gave him my number. Our relationship blossomed based on a lie. On June 25, my shady bus driver asked me out. He was this mid-forties, balding big white guy. After a couple of minutes of awkward talking, he asked me if I had a boyfriend. I let out the longest 'yessssssss' of my life. Then I told Andrew about it. I said 'now I can't say I've never been asked out.' So he said 'do you wanna go out with me?? make that 2x.' I told him that he should be my fake boyfriend to fend off creepers. And he said it was a deal. I asked him where my flowers were and he sent me a picture of some dead flowers. That's how the relationship started. I had told him before I gave him my number that I didn't like talking on the phone because I'm really quiet and he agreed not to. He called me last friday night at 1:15 in the morning. At the time, I thought it was my alarm ringing. When I saw it was him, I was a really shocked, but I picked up.. It was a sleep yolo moment. And we talked for 1 hour 52 minutes.. It was awesome! I've never been so comfortable talking to someone before. Half the time we didn't even talk. I just hear him breathing. haha. He had a nice calming voice. He called me baby and I called him honey. We decided to be fake boyfriend and girlfriend. It's getting harder and harder because I seem to like him more and more. When I told him that it was weird that we were calling each other 'baby' and 'honey', he didn't see the weirdness. He said that we're friends and that we're playing around; and that if we don't like it anymore, we can just stop talking to each other. That hit me quite hard. I know it's a game and I know I shouldn't be falling for him. Annette said I'm going to get screwed if I fell for him. It's just a game. I told her that I like the fact that someone thinks about me right before they sleep and when they wake up. I like the fact that I matter to someone.
Even though it's a game, talking to Andrew is helping be become better at talking to guys and talking sweet talk to them. He's teaching me and I'm learning. He's great because he supports me in finding someone special, as I wish it for him too. We're both great people. I think we should find someone awesome someday. Hopefully soon.
I went out for Annette birthday to a biergarten in Williamsburg. She said there is a good mix of race and that there are a lot of Asian guys in Williamsburg. She pointed out a group of them, whom looked like players so I wasn't interested.She said there was one behind me and to turn around. I looked back and I saw this really cute Chinese guy. When he looked at me, I turned upward like I was looking at the ceiling. haha. That's my problem with eye contact. I could feel like he was looking at me. Even Annette was telling me so, but I couldn't make eye contact. I was too shy. I wished I did. He was really cute and I regret it so much that just last night, I dreamt I was doing all this research to try to find out who he was. I mean, if it was meant to be, he would have made the move. If it was meant to be, I would see him again. I did see him again at the pizza place we went after the second bar, but he didn't see me. And I was too drunk to act on my desire to go up to him and say 'Hey, wanna hear a pick up line? I wished I lived in your socks so that I can be with you every step of the way.' hahhahah. Sigh. I missed my chance, but fate is FATE! There was this other guy who apparently was hitting on me. When he walked into the bar, we all looked at him and made an ewww face. He looked like the guy on a pizza box. Apparently he was talking to me from behind. Annette told me to turn around. I was already a little drunk so I turned around, looked straight through him and turned right back to Annette. I felt like a hot bitch and I liked it. I didn't mean to be rude, but I can't say it didn't make me feel like the shiz. I'm sorry!
Today is Independence Day. Happy Fourth of July! I was supposed to go out with Jenny to a BBQ, but I backed out. I didn't know that Jeff didn't know she was bringing me. I don't have anything to bring to the party. There's going to be a lot of people there. When I told her I didn't want to go, she went bonkers at me saying that I didn't care to see her and all this shit. Guilt. I'm too tired to be guilted like this. And she had the audacity to say that I've been sassier since I started talking to Andrew.. what the fuck? I started talking to him two weeks ago. I didn't change because of him. He has nothing to do with my choice of not going and it pissed me the fuck off that it was even brought up to be thrown in my face. All those memories of awkward hang outs made me say no. Fucking. Andrew?? Really? For serial?
Zen.
Zen.
Zen.
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