I Like Him

I think it's a little off-putting that I like this guy so much. A part of me want to meet him and go to a museum. Another part of me is scared that if I did meet him, he wouldn't meet up to my expectations. The fact that this could possibly be all in my head frightens me.. One minute, I'm happy thinking about him and what we could be. Another minute, I'm hating myself for liking someone who doesn't even care for me the same way. Why am I wasting my time? Why...

[Hey,

I had a dream about you the other day.. It was so weird. We were in my aunt's bedroom, which was also an office. We would steal glances at each other, but never at the same time because it was too unnerving. There was a point when I tried avoiding going near you by making my own pathway behind the head of the bed. It was so weird. Then finally, I looked at you and waved. You smiled and waved back. How did you know I like crooked smiles?]

I'm trying my best this summer to lose weight. I think 25 years of being self-conscious is enough.. If I become this beautiful girl.. I might still want my nerdy guy who can't even finish a single beer in his lifetime. But then again, who am I to say that he wants me?